Picture this...for a long time you have been bringing your child to martial arts class, events, tournaments, spending TONS of time and money on everything from tuition, uniforms, belt exams and equipment. You spend hours upon hours pushing your child to go to class...
Then one day…out of the blue...THEY WANT TO QUIT!!! You are beside yourself, disheartened...crushed.
Why?! What has changed?! You try to talk to them about it. You tell them they have come too far to quit. You threaten, bribe, cajole...but nothing works.
When a child makes their mind up, you really can't do much to change it, right?
You start questioning what you may have done wrong? Did I not get everything they needed? Am I just a bad parent?...You beat yourself up.
Don't blame yourself. Simply change your focus of what is most important. Get back to what truly matters and things will happen!
It is really easy to try to live vicariously through our children. But our kids are NOT a way to fulfill our childhood dreams of old. We have seen too many talented children get all the fun sucked out of something by parents with good intentions who use their kids as pawns in a game of glory for parents.
If your child excelling in something is your bragging right, a status symbol, a way for you to "get out of the house" or hang out with other parents, then you should be ready to face the consequences as soon as they figure this out.
But you can fix that! Research shows that there are scientifically proven phrases that parents can use with their kids to make sure they stay motivated! They are the following 3 statements:
Before going to the dojo, event or performance
“Do your best.”
“I love you.”
“Did you have fun?”
“I’m proud of you.”
“I love you.”
A three decade long survey, asking athletes what their parents said that made them feel best when they played sports as kids. The number one answer was the phrase "I love watching you!"
“I love to watch you!”